Memoirs of a Germanian Emperor
by General RTS
Summary: I always considered myself to be a failure. I have accomplished nothing nor do I have the ability to do anything. So how the hell am I supposed react when I get summoned to another world to become the emperor of a country that makes no sense!
1. Introduction Arc: The Beginning

**Author:** Alright. For all of you who read my previous story, (**Drifters: Revolution and Freedom**), you probably already knew this story was coming. Some of you might have even been anticipating it. Now some of you will probably be groaning since this story will probably take time away from my other story. And yes it will. Don't worry I will still aim to finish the other story by the end of the year. And look at it from my persepctive guys. It gets kinda boring just focusing on one story. By working on both at the same time, I found that it keeps my creative juices flowing and was generally quite fun.

Now here's an important annoucement about this story. See, I originally toyed with the idea of having a Choose-You-Own-Adventure style type of fanfic but I eventually gave it up after getting a headache from trying to actually make it work and decided that it would be impossible. But it did give me an idea. I thought: _What if I used a Dating Simulation Game or **Visual Novel Format** to write the_ story. Now for those of you who don't know what a Visual Novel is, here's how it works.

Imagine yourself as the main character in some kind Romance genred game. There is the introduction arc where the character gets acquainted with his surroundings and all the possible heroines within the game. The decisions the main character makes within the introduction arc will allow the character to unlock a unique storyline of each induvidual heroine. This is called a "**_route_"**. So in this story, you will have an introduction arc, where my character gets acuainted with his surroundings. And pehraps two to three **Routes** which you will read throught so it will kind of be like this.

Introduction Arc - Route 1 - Ending 1

Introduction Arc - Route 2 - Ending 2

And so on.

I honestly have no idea if this idea is going to work. I have never seen anything like this ever done before, but I'm willing to give it one heck of a try. But this it kind of an experiment so give me your thoughts about the idea. As I already implied within some of my previous stories, one of the heroines will without a doubt be Henrietta, and I also decided that the next would be Kirche, mostly because I don't think she was portrayed fairly in the anime. And the third one (**If** there is a third one, not making any promises), I'm kind of considering someone but I will let you guys vote on the third in a poll on my channel. Go check it out! Voting ends by the end of the Introduction Arc. There are five real choices at the moment so feel free to suggest your own.

One last thing, as I have a personal connection to this character there will be NO yaoi routes (Sorry BL lovers and fangirls) and for the moment no harem routes for the forseeable future (sorry fanboys) and no graphic lemons (sorry perverts).

* * *

I woke up with a strange sense of alertness, staring blankly up at the light blue ceiling. The dull grey of the morning sun filtered in through my window telling me that it was still quite early. I lay there for a couple of moments, listening for any sign of movement inside the house. Nothing. Aside from the occasional sounds of the city outside my window, the house was deathly silent. Good, that meant I was the only one awake. Quietly I slipped off my bed, easing my feet on to the cold hardwood floors as I crept towards the door without a sound. I tiptoed down the rickety staircase as quietly as I could, wincing at every creak it made until I finally reached the bottom steps. I stopped then, listening once again for any source of life within my household. So far, so good. I slowly unlocked the front entrance and creaked the door open, hoping that the rest of my family would still be asleep. The cold April air hit me like wave. Despite the fact that it was already spring, I was unsurprised. This was Canada after all and weather in Toronto was especially unpredictable. Ignoring the biting cold and still wearing my pajamas I slipped outside and opened the mailbox. Taking out the small bundle of envelopes, I quickly rifled through the content with one objective in mind.

"Junk, junk, junk, oh the electrical bill, junk, junk, _Admissions office_!" I pulled the envelope out of the small stack shoving the rest back into the mail box and quickly flitted back into my room. Once inside I tore through the envelope until it was reduced to little bits of paper on the ground and began reading letter instantly.

_Dear Max Lee_

_The admissions committee has met and I am sorry to inform you that we were not able to admit you in to the University of Toronto this year. We have received an applicant pool of over 25,000 applications and we were able to admit a small percentage of that pool for an entering class of 2000 students. _

_We realize that you may be disappointed with this decision. We could not accept all the qualified students who applied to UofT in this admissions cycle. Our choices reflect the strength and size of our applicant pool and they are not judgments on anyone's ability as a college student. _

_Since the Admission's Committee made each decision in the context of other applicants we cannot provide specific reason why some applicants were not offered admission. We know this explanation is not consoling but it is as much as can practically be given. We wish you the best of luck in all your academic endeavors._

I stared at the sheet of paper emotionlessly for several moments, as if I couldn't quite comprehend what was written there. I stared at those final words as though they were a death sentence. I was aware of a throbbing pain in my stomach as though I had just been punched and my chest was tightening up into stiff, painful knots. I felt like puking yet no bile seemed to rise up my throat. In a less than a hundred words, I felt as though my dreams, my hopes, my life, had been crushed before my very eyes. At first I felt nothing but anger. Anger at the university, at my school, at my teachers, but most of all I felt complete and utter self-loathing towards myself. I should have never have taken biology, I should never have taken AP math, I should have studied harder and slept less and the self-abuse continued because deep inside I knew the despair I felt now was the fault of my-pathetic-fucking-self. Vaguely I could hear the rest of my family waking up and I snapped out of my near comatose state to begin dressing for school. Throwing on a set of clothes that lay on my chair in rumpled heap, I folded the rejection letter and stuffed it into the back pocket of my jeans before beginning packing for school. Fifteen minutes later I was trudging back down the stairs making sure to keep an emotionless mask on my face.

From the smell of things, I could already tell breakfast was ready as I stumbled my way into the kitchen. For once, my family was actually eating together. Immediately in front of me at the side of the rectangular table was my eldest sister Madison. An honorary student who graduated from the University of Waterloo, two years ago, she was now a top class accountant making more than eighty grand a year in from financial company based in Hong Kong. Apparently she would be in Toronto for a few days while she dealt with a client who happened to be based here in Canada. To her right sat the middle child of the family, younger than Madison but still older than me, was my sister, Jacqueline, also an honors student who was now almost finished studying for her engineering degree in the same university I just got rejected from only moments ago. And then there was me of course, the lousy screw up son who couldn't even get in to an arts program for his safety school. Now don't get me wrong. I was happy for my elder siblings and I had to admit _even I_ was a little proud of them for achieving their goals. But like in any typically Asian family, my parents treated education like a gift from Buddha himself. Maybe it was a part of our Asian culture, like the Mandarins of Imperial China and Korea who would earn their positions in life through intensive study and examination. Maybe it was the concrete truth of life that the safest pathway to success was through a university degree. I really didn't know. But I did know this. The media had it wrong, Family Guy, Futurama, South Park, all those shows that often portrayed Asian parents as hard and unforgiving of failure. It was really tough love, because underneath all that, it was genuine concern. Concern that they only son would grow up working twelve hour shifts for minimum wage at some hazardous shitty ass job, struggling to pay his rent and having to beg their government for welfare like some hobo. My father, a middle class businessman who worked himself into the ground to see his children get the opportunities he never had, sat at the head of the table reading a newspaper just like usual. As I walked into the room he looked up from his paper at me.

"Checked the mail this morning," He told me, in an almost apologetic voice. "Nothing from the university so far."

My mother, like usual, was the last to take her seat at the other end of the table opposite of my dad. "Well, there's always hope." She said wearily while I suppressed a cringe.

Opposite of me, Jackie nearly choked on her rice as she snorted. "Oh please, like any University would accept you with those grades." Immediately, she seemed to realize how outrageous the statement sounded, before the words even finished leaving her mouth and looked back down at her plate, with an expression resembling embarrassment. "Sorry." She mumbled, still looking down at her plate.

"It's fine." I mumbled back, knowing full well she had spoken the truth. After a moment of awkward silence, breakfast went as it usually did. Conversation was passed around while I stared silently at my food, taking repetitive bites. When my bowl was around half full, I excused myself to go to school, unable to stomach anything more thanks to the queasy feeling in my gut.

"I'll just buy lunch from the cafeteria!" I called out as I ran out the door. I slung my bag over my shoulder and took out my bicycle from the garage. Moments later I was pedaling down the street as fast as I could go. Maybe I just wanted to get away. Maybe I just wanted time to think by myself. Think about the question that every high school student dreads having to answer, the question that I procrastinated on answering for years.

_What the hell am I going to do with my life!_

After a while, my legs started burning from the furious exercise I just gave them so I took the moment to calm myself down and think about the question for a moment. I suppose I would have to attend a community college. Perhaps I could even apply to be a CGA (Certified General Accountant). Suddenly life didn't seem so bad anymore, and I slowly felt as though my lungs were working at full capacity once again. My parents would be disappointed. I had no doubts about that. Whenever my mother talked to her friends every once in a while she would avoid talking about her youngest child while fully boasting the success of my sisters. I was fine with that. After all how was she supposed to tell her friends about what a failure I had been? How could I ask her to endure watching their disapproving looks and condescending tones? How is any parent supposed to deal with that?

As I crossed the intersection I got off the bike (safety first kids!) and slowly made my way across the street, still thinking about my imminent future. I was so deep in thought however, that I never even registered the minivan that was hurtling towards me.

It happens all the time. Every roadway in the world seems to have that one impatient driver, who slams their accelerator into the ground whenever they see the traffic lights turn yellow. By the time the driver even noticed the 6 feet tall Asian boy crossing the road, by the time he even noticed he was going at a red light, it was far too late. Even if the driver had managed to press his brakes down, the momentum of the car would still have sent the 5000 pound hunk of metal hurtling into my side. In hindsight, my bike probably saved my life since I had kept it to the side where car had hit me. But even so, the impact sent me flying into the air and the only thing that I could comprehend was that the world around me was spinning like a raging vortex. Vaguely I could make out an opaque oval light filling up my vision and the next thing I knew, my world went dark.

o0o

Radulfr was angry. Of that he was completely certain. He was the guardian wolf deity of Germania, the same one who had guided the first Germanian Emperor into uniting the Germanic tribes into a single nation more than five hundred years ago, the same deity that helped found the nation and write its laws into a single unified code. Since then, it had been his sacred duty to advise each and every emperor that had passed along the throne as a faithful companion. And in the cases where an emperor died without an heir or disputes arose among his candidates, it was both Radulfr's right and duty to choose the next emperor. And it was not as though the wolf himself chose personally. Due to the contract he had made with the first Emperor, Maximilian the Great, he simply possessed the ability to sense the most suitable candidate and was instinctively compelled by the contract to bless that said person with the Sacred Seal of the Emperor. Thus as the bearer of such power and responsibility, Radulfr felt justified to expect respect and deference to both himself and the traditions he carried… which of course was why he was so angry now.

When the last Germanic emperor, Ferdinand II, had passed on into the grave without leaving a single heir to the throne, Radulfr was immediately shown into an barren room under a lock and key for several days until finally, upon the seventh day, five Germanian noblemen walked inside the room and demanded one of them be chosen emperor. The sage wolf was furious. Traditionally, he should've have been released outside with a retinue of loyal guards, to expose himself to as many potential candidates as possible before allowing his ability to guide him to the next emperor, regardless of that person's descent. Instead, in an attempt for the throne, the nobles dared spit on the sanctity of the ritual with this underhanded trick. Radulfr glared at the nobles before him, all with triumphant expressions as though their position was already assured. It was true that Radulfr's contract compelled him to choose the new emperor by the time of the full moon. That was today. But he would be damned before he made any of the ill bred pups in front of him now, emperor. Thanks to his abilities, he could sense their intentions through smell. Most of them reeked of the disgusting odor of greed and lust. The last one however, overpowered all of those smells with the nauseating stench of blood and war. Radulfr made a mental note to keep an eye out for that one. For a moment, Radulfr was tempted to kill them all just to make an example of all those that had the gall to treat him in such a manner but reason told him better. For several moments Radulfr stood there, contemplating how to extricate himself from his increasingly dire situation when the answer came to him… quite literally in fact.

A blue light enveloped a room and several startled nobles yelped in surprise, pushing and shoving one another to escape the blinding flare. When the light finally dissipated, there was a young man lay sprawled over the floor. Then, Radulfr felt something ancient, something powerful move within himself. His spiritual instinct triumphed over any thoughts he may have had and without missing a beat, Radulfr was already at the boy's side in a flash. Before any of the nobles had a chance to react or even realize what he was doing, Radulfr drew his power up from within quickly recited the required spell.

_"__G__loria e__nnis milia__ decem__. D____ecem milia annos honorem__." _

"Stop him!" one of the nobles behind him cried out. Radulf ignored him.

_"P__otestatem__ me dis. Rex homo hoc et!"_

A flash of light erupted from where Radulfr stood and powerful winds seemed to vent from no known source. When the Germanic artistocrats finally looked up they saw Radulfr standing next to the boy, trumping his tail on the ground with an expression that could only be described as content.

_"Who's the top dog now, you jackals?"_ Radulfr thought smugly.

* * *

Author: Special thanks to LastStandZiggy who, when I found myself in need of a main character who was such a loser that he lacked any sort of self confidence and ability, made me realize that** I **was the perfect loser (Without any sort of leadership skills or fighting abilities) to base that character off of. The beginning scene was thought up in my mind back in early febuary when I just completed my college applications and since I didn't really have any confidence in myself or my abilities, I had to go throught that exact crisis described above. (Except I didn't get hit by a car and get sent to another world. It would have been awesome if I did though). Anyways, it seems like I _will_ be going to univeristy next year (Thankfully!), still probably writing fanfics instead of studying like I'm supposed to. Ciaos!

One last thing. I made up the Radulf's (whose name means "wise wolf" in German) spell which was

_Gloria ennis milia decem_

___decem milia annos honorem_

_potestatem me dis_

_Rex homo hoc et_

o0o

**If you reverse the word order you get a latin translation. **

o0o

_Decem milia __gloria ennis_

___honorem annos milia decem_

_dis me potestatem _

_et hoc homo rex_


	2. Introduction Arc: The End Is Nigh!

***Spoiler Alert***

**Author: **Man I had fun writing this chapter. See, one of the funny perks of writing a somewhat honest self insert story is that you find out a lot more about yourself than you originally intended. For example in this chapter I found out that I jump to conclusions_ way _too quickly and I overreact _way _too much when certain buttons of mine are pushed. I didn't really write this story with those things in mind but while I was proof reading it I sound found out that it reflected more of me than I originally intended. The story itself is easier to write even when you don't have a specific outline in mind since all I have to do is ask myself: What would _I_ do in that situation. It was pretty easy.

Anyways, I took my time to read through a lot of other fanfics and once again I would like to comeback to the little rant I made during Chapter 36 of **Drifter Series:Revolution and Freedom. **Now I'm not here to reiterate that giant rant I made, but while I went read through a fairly good number of fanfics I realized that while I whined about a lot of the problems I saw with stories, I never really talked about ways to avoid those kinds of mistakes. So I posted an extremely long rant on my profile page listing some common perks that I see in alot of fanfics that irritate me. I would recommend that any aspiring writers to skim over it if you feel like it. Though I won't force you to if you don't. Your will is your own. Anyways enjoy the story!

* * *

Shocked silence followed Radulfr's actions as the group of conspirators gaped at the pristine wolf in disbelief, not quite able to believe what the guardian deity had just done. Radulfr watched with extreme pleasure as their faces contorted themselves in to a mixture outrage, astonishment and even hatred. With the mental equivalent of taking a snapshot using a digital camera, Radulfr took careful preparation to save that particular image into the back of his mind. At the very least, it would cheer him up on bad days in the future. Now that he had chosen this mystery candidate to succeed the Germanian throne, he had a feeling there would be plenty of those in the foreseeable future. Speaking of which, Radulfr bent forward to take a closer look at the unconscious boy lying on the ground. It had been years since he had felt such a strong reaction towards a candidate and he felt his curiosity tingle as he examined the boy's features. He did not like what he saw. The boy was clearly a foreigner. He had neither the distinctive flame colored hair of the Germanic aristocracy nor the darkly tanned skin found common in the Central and Eastern regions of the Germanian Empire. Instead he had messy black hair, his bangs almost covering his eyes. His skin while not exactly pale like that of the Western Halkeginians was neither dark enough to pass for a true blooded Germanian. He was also fairly young. By human standards he might have barely been old enough to be considered a man, though only boy himself would know for certain. The boy was neither brawny like most of the warriors of Germania nor was he particularly skinny either. His build denoted an active lifestyle which involved exercising regularly, though hardly on the same level as that of a full time warrior. No matter how he saw it, the boy in front of Radulfr could only be described as average. As Radulfr continued to take in more of the boy's features he only grew more and more distressed. A foreign boy barely old enough to be a man as the next Germanian Emperor? Gods, what his people would have to say about this. His country's hierarchy wasn't as rigid as those of the other countries. A man from the bourgeois could easily enter the ranks of the aristocracy through either purchase or even meritocracy at times. But this? This was sheer madness.

Suddenly a hiss of metal rang out and Radulfr whirled around in a fury to face the oncoming perpetrator. In a fit of rage, one of the nobles, the very one that had reeked of the disgusting stench of blood and war, had drawn a steel sword wand from his scabbard and was now pointing it at the unconscious boy. Radulfr narrowed his eyes on the man and with deliberate slowness placed himself firmly between the attacker and his chosen candidate.

"What… Are… You… Doing… Munster?" Radulfr ground out each word of the sentence, his fur bristling in rage. "You dare draw your weapon upon an Imperial Candidate?"

The man, now identified as Munster hesitated. It was common knowledge that the Wolf Guardian used to be one of the most powerful spirits within the historical tome's of Germania. It was often said that his presence on the battlefield was worth at least 30 thousand men during the reign of the First Emperor Maximilian the Great. But while he may have possessed limited immortality, time had still taken its toll on the Guardian of Germania, gradually weakening his power. Even so, Radulfr was a deity. What Brimir was for Romalia, Radulfr had been for Germania. Commoners and nobility alike worshipped the divine spirit and few emperors have ever ruled without his blessing while those that did often had short and tragic reigns. Making an enemy out such a being was simply not a smart decision, especially if one had ambitions toward the crown.

"Forgive me, Lord Radulfr." Munster said as he quickly slipped the wand back into his cloak. "I only witnessed a flash of light and had assumed the boy to be an intruder."

Radulfr bared his fangs at the blatant lie, and for a moment considered giving in to his primal desires and pouncing on the vile man to tear out his throat but decided against it. He would not wish to stain his coat with the man's filthy blood anyways. Radulfr soon found himself jerked from his thoughts as another noble stepped closer towards him and kneeled before him. "Lord Radulfr I beseech you to reconsider. This… boy is not worthy of your blessing. You must pick a candidate who is more… suitable. It is your duty-"

"_**DUTY**_** WOULD HAVE SEEN YOU FOLLOW THE PROPER PROCEDURES IN THE CORONATION CEREMONY! **_**DUTY**_** WOULD HAVE HAD YOU INFORM THE LORDS OF THIS COUNTRY OF THE EMPEROR'S DEATH!"** Radulfr thundered, making the room tremble before his wrath. "Do not speak to me of duty, Tyrol for I have done mine. Perhaps you should have done the same." The lords present took an involuntary step back at the open hostility of the divine spirit, fearing for their lives as they realized that they may have accidently incurred the enmity of the most influential being in the country. "Go," Radulfr sighed as his rage subsided into fatigue. "Leave the capital and do not show yourself before me again until I have called for you. I shall deal with the proceedings myself."

The men scurried out of the room, though Radulfr doubted he had seen the last of them. A few decades ago he would have executed those men without hesitation for that kind of conduct. He must have been going soft. Radulfr focused his thoughts as he turned back on the boy who was now marked to be the next in line to the Germanian throne. He would have to quickly, Radulfr knew. He would have to confirm old loyalties and garner support from new ones if this boy was to have any hope of consolidating power. As he looked back at the boy once more he sighed from an unknown source of exhaustion. "Gods what am I going to do with you?" he whispered.

o0o

I was aware several rough voices that seemed to pound against my head as I regained consciousness. My eyes fluttered open, threatening to close once more into dream world as I struggled to keep them open. Finally, after tremendous effort I stared blankly at an embroidered ceiling, while my mind sluggishly began to function once more. I stared at the ceiling for several moments wondering why something didn't feel quite right and then, in a stroke of genius, all sarcasm intended, I realized what it was. _'Why the hell am I staring up at an embroidered ceiling?'_

Tentative curiosity turned to confusion as I pondered that question. After some time, I still found no clues into answering it. So, as the logical thing to do, I backtracked, rummaging through my hazy memories in an attempt to figure out just what had happened to me. Let see. I got rejected from UofT this morning. I was going to school. I got hit by a van. And then… this?

Nope it still didn't make sense. I looked around me and found myself inside a wide king sized bed. The mattress was soft and cushy letting my body sink into the fabric while thick blankets smothered me from above. No wonder I had such a hard time getting up. Suddenly a wooden *thunk* sounded towards my right and I turned my head to see a pair of large oak doors open into the room. At the entrance, to my befuddlement, stood a canine, no, scratch that, a wolf, gazing back at me with fierce intensity with golden eyes that sparkled like gemstones. But what caught my attention were not its eyes. It was its coat. White. The wolf's coat was of the purest white, like untouched snow so pure that looking too long at that particular shade would glare into your eyes.

The wolf sauntered towards me, each step controlled and composed with extreme grace. Finally it stopped by the bed and growled at me. I stared at the lupine creature in confusion, wondering just why it seemed to be growling at me until it finally hit me. The wolf wasn't growling! It was German! No, not quite German, but the thick Eastern European accent was unmistakable and I stared at the snowy white lupine in ever growing confusion.

No, it was probably just my imagination. I doubted that my knowledge of the language, which is to say none at all, would hardly be enough for me to actually recognize it upon hearing. I heard once on the Discovery Channel that animals use different frequencies of sound to communicate with its own species. Most likely I had just picked up on a particular pattern in that said growling and falsely assumed it to be another language. Yes, that made much more sense than my 'this wolf somehow managed to learn a human language' theory. My contemplation was interrupted when I felt a wet snout press against my forehead and before I knew it, the peripheral edges of my vision began to glow.

"_Verto." _Now as corny as this may sound, that single word seemed to resonate against my soul. I honestly don't know how else I could have described it. I heard a soft *pop* in my ears, kind of like the ones you would get when you experience sharp changes in altitude during a flight and the next thing I knew, the wolf spoke. Yes, I kid you not, the wolf spoke to me. "Can you understand me now, young one?"

My mind drew to a screeching halt as I gaped in opened mouth horror at the white furred lupine, staring at it as though it had grown a second head. Did it just talk? No. It was impossible. Every logical part of my mind screamed at me, telling me that the phenomenon I had just witnessed simply could not have happened.

"Is something the matter, young one? You're hyperventilating."

Okay, it happened again. Underneath the blankets I pinched the back of my hand as hard as I could under the consideration of the possibility that this was all a dream, a bad dream… No apparently not. It was obvious now I was dealing with some kind of UMA, an Unidentified Mysterious Animal. I was starting to panic. No, it was alright. I could still fix this. Without warning I jumped out of bed and briskly walked for the door. I had no idea where I was going, but I knew I needed to find help as soon as possible.

"Where are you going?" the wolf asked, clearly confused. I didn't answer, only quickening my pace towards the door. Peeved by my lack of response the UMA tried again. For me that was the final straw before I lost it… completely. "Hey I ask-"

"**GAAHHHHH! GO AWAY! YOU DON'T EXIST!" **I screamed hysterically.** "**You're only a figment of my imagination!"

"A figment of your imagination?" Chuffed the UMA, sounding personally insulted by my denial of his existence. "I assure you, young one, I am completely real."

Well, looks like it finally happened. Years of academic pressure at both school and at home have finally broken my fragile young mind leaving me a only broken shell of my former self. How tragic. I was so young, so promising. Now I would probably be locked away somewhere inside a mental asylum, so that I wouldn't hurt those around me. No, I refuse to go to '_that'_ place without a fight. Even _if_ I was crazy I could still have career in New York pushing around a cart full of empty cans muttering to myself. Right? …Right? I wouldn't let myself be taken away. Here, I would make a brave and final stand.

By running away.

As a regular member of a varsity Track and Field Club in Toronto, I have to admit I've never been a great runner, or even a half decent sprinter for that matter. My forte has always been in long distance events, using a combination of stamina and determination rather than speed to get me through. Even so I was confident in my ability to sprint faster than most non-athletes. Add to that my current rush of adrenaline caused from mass hysteria and I was practically tearing down the hallway like a road runner. If the pursuer had been human, I, more likely than not, would have managed to get away. Unfortunately for me however, my pursuer was not human at all. It was an UMA.

A white blur passed over my head like the wind and before I knew it the UMA was standing before me, not even out of breath while I my own sides were heaving from the short sprint. "H-How did…" I choked, too out of breath to properly form a sentence.

"What are you doing? Running away like that?" the UMA asked in a tone that could not be mistaken for anything else but annoyance. "Well? Answer me!"

Still panting I looked up him to answer but froze, my attention no longer directed at the strange UMA but at something else behind him. I gawked over the UMA's head and out the window, my mind not comprehending what I was looking at. Two moons, outside the window twin moons, one red and the other blue, drifted gently amongst the clouds shining against the evening sky. No, it was impossible. There was only supposed to be one moon and the last time I checked it wasn't red _or _blue. My mind raced to find a logical explanation to what I was seeing. Mars, yes I was definitely looking a Mars. I remember once having seen it faintly against the sky as a child during one of the rare intervals when the planets' alignment allowed the Roman God of War to be visible from Earth. And the other one… Uranus. Yes it was definitely Uranus which would explain why its color was blue. Yes, my breathing calmed down once more before I stumbled upon another problem. Why were they so much larger than before and why did they shine so much more clearly? The last time I saw Mars, it had been a faint specter, barely visible against the sky. Now both were practically double in size and shone brightly in the evening dark. I swallowed, my throat quickly turning dry. There could only have been one explanation for this. The planets were actually _closer_. But that meant…

"The planets are going to crash into Earth." I whispered, my voice hoarse. "Holy shit!"

The UMA's ears twitched at that. "What?"

"**ARMAGEDDON!" **I practically screamed. "**It's real! It's happening! The Mayans were right! 2012 is upon us! Repent! Repent! The end is nigh! THE END IS NIGH!"**

"What are raving about?" the figment of my imagination asked, too startled to be angry. "Have you taken leave of your senses?"

As it later turned out, perhaps unsurprisingly, it looks like the human body actually managed to find a genetic coping mechanism for dealing with inconceivable situations. It's called syncope… or in my situation, better described as passing out on the floor, completely unconscious from shock.


	3. Introduction Arc: Emperor Yu & an Omake

**Author:** WOW it has been a while since I've updated this story. I guess I didn't really have that clear of an outline for it but it's still moving along. I had a headache while I was writing so I'm no fully satisfied with how it turned out. I think the ending to this chapter should have been the beginning to the next, but I wanted to end this chapter on a high note so I just left it that way. Anyways, General RTS now presents:

**My Current List of Future Potential One Liners**

"Get the fuck out of my country!"

"I'm the motherfucking Emperor, bitch! I do what I want!"

"My master, the rightful Emperor of Germania, Maximum, has only this to say to the unworthy enemies of the throne. GO FUCK YOURSELVES!"

o0o

**Author:** Feel free to add your own in the review section below. It'll give me ideas.

* * *

"So just to be clear," UMA reiterated for the hundredth time, "There are two moons within this world, one crimson, the other Sapphire."

"Right." I confirmed nodding.

"And those moons are not crashing into the Earth to destroy all human life."

"Are you sure? I asked. "I mea-"

I'm sure," The UMA cut in. "Anyways let's try to get back on track shall we?"

"Right."

"And I am not a figment of your imagination." the white wolf continued on, still looking personally insulted about that last point.

"Right."

"I am the Guardian Spirit of a nation called Germania which is situated in the eastern Halkeginia. You may address me as Radulfr, young one."

"Right. Ummmm… I'm Max."

"Max," The now identified UMA repeated curiously. "As in, Maximilian or Maximus?

Inwardly I sighed and resisted the urge to roll my eyes. It was the same question I got every time I told my name for the first time. "No, it's just Max. That's officially my real name. If anything though, I guess you could say it stands for Maximum. My parents gave me the name Max because they wanted me to be the best of whatever I ended up doing, the maximum of human ability." Well, it's not like that exactly turned out as planned.

"Maximum." Radulfr mused. "It has a nice ring to it."

"Right, ummm… Question?" I asked putting up my hand like a student inside a classroom. "What was that translate… thingy… you did to me. You know, the one that let me understand what the hell you were saying?"

"Oh that?" Radulfr, said dismissively. "It was a simple knowledge transfer spell. I simply imparted a small part of my knowledge of the Germanian language and it's general history in to your mind. It was an easy form of magic for a spirit, even in my weakened state. Still, that was an interesting language you spoke before. It certainly wasn't anything spoken in Halkeginia… Are you alright?"

His question was probably aimed at the fact that was I currently gaping at him like a fish, my jaw hung open. In hindsight, it was probably my own fault for expecting an answer that actually made sense. "Magic?" I repeated, not quite able to wrap my head around the word.

"Magic." The Wolf confirmed.

"… I never thought I'd see the day where that would reasonably be used as a excuse for something." I sighed shaking my head.

"I see," Radulfr tilted his head curiously, "They must not have magic where you are from."

"No, no they do not." I answered glaring at the destroyer of all my preconceptions "Seriously, it's like I just got dropped into some bad Lord of the Rings fanfic. What's next? Is humanity going to be attacked by armies of Orcs and our only hope for survival is in the hands of the legendary dragon riders and their magical steeds?"

"Actually," Radulfr said sounding apologetic, "The Orcs have more or less been destroyed as a major threat in Halkeginia for the past four hundred years and as for dragons, they do exist but for the most part, there is nothing magical about them at all since High Dragons are an almost extinct race."

"Oh come on!" I yelled. "There has to be some limit to the ridiculousness of the situation I'm in right now! Radulfr sir, if you have anymore revelations like that, please feel free to keep them to yourself for today. I honestly don't think I can handle anymore."

"Agreed." Radulfr concurred instantly. I studied him for a moment, trying to judge whether or not he was being sincere before deciding to brave on.

"Great," I said leaning backwards once more. "Now, how do I get back home?"

"Excuse me?"

"Like you just said, I'm not from around these parts. Hell, I'm not even on the right planet judging from the two moons. I come from country called Canada, in a world we like to call Earth. Now, what I want to know is if there's someone I can talk to, someone important, that can help send me back to my original world."

Radulfr shifted uncomfortably. "Well, if you are looking for someone important then I am fairly certain you have already found him."

"Look," I said tiredly. "As important as being a Spirit Guardian-"

"Guardian Spirit"

"-might be, I was preferably hoping for someone human."

"Maximum?" The Spirit ventured tentatively, "Do you remember the promise we made just now? The one where I am not supposed tell you anything that may be too shocking? I may have to break that promise if you would like for me to answer your question."

"Really?" I deadpanned. "What could possibly be more shocking than find myself in a freaking fantasy world?" When Radulfr remained silent, I resisted the urge to cry. "Seriously? There's something so outrageous that you don't think I can handle it?" Radulfr nodded and I sighed in surrender. It hadn't been that long of a day for me but taking in all these bombshells had been mentally exhausting. "You know what? Let's just get this over with. Hit me with your worst."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded sincerely doubting that I could possibly be any more shaken up than I already was. I figured I may as well take it all in one go… like ripping off a Band-Aid.

"Maximum," The wolf began hesitantly, "you _are_ currently the most important person in this country. You see, one of my duties as the Guardian Spirit of this country is to decide the to decide the next Emperor in the absence of a suitable successor. And only hours ago. I chose you and gave you my blessing."

Or like ripping heavy-duty duct tape off an open wound. I swallowed through a dry mouth. Maybe I had misheard. That must be it. I had misheard. I do that sometimes, don't it? Due dates, lectures, I do have a tendency for those things. "What?"

"Like I said, you are the next Emperor of Germania."

I stared at him for several moments, not sure what to say. "So… who's the emperor?"

"You!"

"The Emperor's name is Yu, huh? That's strange. I expected something that would have sounded more, Germanic…ey." Had Radulfr been a human, he would most certainly have done something as clichéd as face faulting. However, as he was a wolf, his fore legs prevented such a ridiculous accident from occurring.

"NO! The Emperor it right here, in this room, in front of me while I am talking to him, right now!"

I looked over my shoulder to find the room empty. "So… he's invisible?"

"Maximum, listen to me _very carefully_. You. Are. The Emperor."

"No, no, no. See, it's 'Yu IS the Emperor. You're getting your verb conjugations mixed up."

Radulfr narrowed his eyes on me. On the visage of such a pristine wolf such as himself, it was quite intimidating. "… You are jesting are you not? I refuse to believe anyone can possibly be that stupid."

"Actually," I corrected, "I'm partly in denial… but yes, I am, for the most part, just fucking with you. It seems fair since you've been screwing with my mind all day, intentionally or not."

"And you are not disturbed by this?" Radulfr asked, probably wary of another raving rant similar to the one the I had spouted off shortly before I feinted.

"I am," I admitted, "and I'd probably having a bigger reaction right now, if I wasn't already spent from all the other things you've been dropping on my head today. For now, I guess I'll save any raving until you explain just how and why I became an Emperor in a world that wasn't suppose to exist."

o0o

And that's what he did. For the next four hours Radulfr told me as much as he could as quickly as he could; the story behind the unification of Germania under Maximilian the Great, the basics structure of the current hierarchy and government and a brief history of the country itself and its surrounding neighbors that had been around for the past six thousand years. Some of the events he had explained seemed familiar in my mind, probably due to the memory transfer spell he had mentioned before. Still it was a very general history as Radulfr was trying to cover as much ground as he could and so figured that I could just ask him about them later about any details he might have missed. Even so, while he was giving me an extremely abridged version of the actual history of Germania, I could tell that Radulfr himself had accomplished a lot of incredible things in the past and his trying to downplay his own achievements only made them all the more impressive.

"That," I said after the thorough and lengthy explanation. "is _bullshit!_"

"… I was expecting a fairly different reaction." Radulfr looked fairly startled at the response

"Do you mean to tell me, that I just became the ruler of the most powerful freaking country on the continent of a fantasy world _because I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time_?!" I yelled.

"Actually," Radulfr answered flatly, "I would say you were in the right place at the right time. After all, most people would give an arm and a leg for this kind of opportunity. Lots of boys your age dream of receiving such an honor."

"Really?" I asked sarcastically. "You mean most people dream of having a job where millions of live weigh on your every decision, where your own family might be plotting to kill you in order to take your position and where a single wrong decision could cost not only your own life but the very existence of your entire nation?"

"Well… no. I suppose when you that way, being a ruler is not exactly a dream job is it?" Radulfr conceded, slightly conflicted on whether or not he should be disappointed or relieved. Relieved that the I was insightful enough to know both the dangers and responsibilities of my future position and disappointed that I wasn't exactly taking in my new situation very well.

"Dream job? Dream Job!" I yelled, "MY dream job was to do some white collar job for some random firm no one's even heard of, working inside a stuffy cubicle, secretly watching YouTube videos while pretending to do the sales report that was due last week! THAT WAS MY DREAM JOB! Not pretending to be some Emperor of a fantasy land!"

"… You have strange life goals, Maximum." The wolf commented while seeming confused about several of the things I had mentioned in my outburst.

I sighed, visibly forcing myself to calm down. "And what if I refuse?"

"If you refuse," Radulfr answered somberly. "Then the process is supposed begin again from the very beginning. However, there has never been a precedent for such a case. Most likely, the major nobles of the country will throw their own claim for the crown… and there will most definitely be a civil war."

I froze. I wasn't able to move, or react in any way, the words that the Guardian Spirit had just uttered with quiet composure left me completely immobile. Slowly I looked up to meet the amber eyes of the wolf.

He was serious, I realized.

"Before you came to this world," Radulfr explained while maintaining his calm appearance. "there were already five nobles that tried to force me to select one of them. If you were to decline your own candidacy then they would no doubt try to do so again. Except now, the other nobles would know of the opening and would fight to place themselves on the throne."

Silence weighed down upon us for several moments after Radulfr's explanation. I sat there, not sure of what to say. Hell, what could have I possibly said when thousands of lives depended on my decision. Finally it was Radulfr who broke the silence. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry for forcing this upon you," he elaborated, sighing as he did so. "You do not even belong in this world. You should be living your own life and pursuing your own dreams… free from the troubles that constantly plague mine. And now, because of me, you have to deal with the burdens of kingship, treasonous nobles and failing country, falling apart thanks to the previous administrations."

More silence.

"Don't," I told him, glancing to the side. "Apologize, I mean" I said, clarifying a second later. "I can't blame you for the decision you made. It's not like you weren't given much of a choice. I probably would've done the exact same thing in your position. It was the right choice." And that was the harsh truth when it came down to it. Radulfr was given a choice; either choose one of the candidates and watch his country deteriorate even further, or choose me and potentially save the lives of thousands. In the end, even I was smart enough to recognize that the needs of the many citizens that lived in this country far outweighed my own. "It's just that…" I paused, unsure how to clearly phrase what I wanted to say. "I _know _for a fact that I wouldn't make a good ruler. Believe me I'm no leader."

Radulfr shook his head. "The contract makes me react to the most beneficial candidate to this country. If I chose you, then you were simply the best option."

I shot him a flat look. "That doesn't really say much when the only other people in the room were five traitors that tried to use you for their own gains."

"It wouldn't have mattered if you were the_ only_ person in the room, Maximum." Radulfr corrected. "The contract gives me a certain sixth sense that allows me to sense what kind of rule a certain candidate would have. Furthermore the contract not only considers you own competency, but the those who you would trust to serve and should you live long enough, your heirs who will take the throne after you. So even if you yourself turn out to be a barely competent ruler, your overall dynasty will be the most beneficial to the country as a whole."

I grumbled incomprehensibly for a moment, not quite able to agree with the wise wolf's words yet unable to mount a suitable counter argument against them. "You know what," I sighed out at last, "I don't even care anymore. It's been a long day, I'm tired, and there's still a fifty percent chance that I'm just hallucinating. I'm going to bed and see what happens in the morning."

"Maximum… that's probably the first good idea you've had all day."

o0o

A sense of déjà vu hit me the minute I woke up to stare at the same embroidered ceiling I had when I had woken up earlier. It took a while, but after several moments of disorientation, the memories of what had occurred seemingly moments ago, flooded back into my head. The magical talking wolf, Armageddon, magic spells, and the fact that I now found myself the emperor of magical country. With far less effort than the last time, I managed to pull myself up in to a sitting position and once more checked my surroundings. It was still early so I was completely dazed when a small hidden door to the side of the room opened, allowing three maids to walk. In hindsight, I really didn't think anything of them. After all Radulfr did tell me that I was in a palace and it was normal for places like these to have a cleaning staff. I figured they were here to tidy the place up or something. It wasn't weird when one of them helped me out of bed into a standing position, I thought they just wanted me out of the way to tidy the blankets. As I yawned, stretching to get the morning kinks out of my body, they began undressing me out of the loose silk pajamas I had borrowed from the wardrobe the night before. By the time I realized what was going on, they had already pulled down my pants revealing my nether regions to the rest of the room.

I had to say, that the scream I let loose then was slightly more high pitched and girly than I was comfortable admitting upon reflection. At some point Radulfr himself seemed to have woken up from his slumber and was now watching the scene with far more amusement than I think was appropriate at that time.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I yelled shooing away the females, all of whom were looking as amused as Radulfr was about my flustered reaction.

"They're dressing you. It's normal for servants to dress their masters." Radulfr answered looking exponentially more cheerful than he was yesterday.

"I can dress myself! I'm not a fucking 12 year old!" I retorted. Belatedly, I realized that my junk was still exposed to the onlookers and fumbled to pull my pants back up. Fortunately, the Wolf Spirit, who must have figured that I had enough, said something to the trio and the maids left the room, quietly giggling amongst themselves at my own expense.

"Well then, you should get dressed." Radulfr said, still chuckling quietly to himself. "They told me that breakfast would be ready in a few minutes and food is better when it is hot."

* * *

**Omake**

"This was your ultimate plan?" Saito asked trying to comprehend the mentality needed for the feat I had just accomplished and failing miserably.

"Yep." I replied happily.

"You employed several hundred water mages along with a good number of square class mages, invaded a small country to take control of their sugar plantations, spent thousands of gold for the production cost and captured dozens of different dragons to use as taste testers JUST BECAUSE YOU WANTED ICE CREAM?!" Saito yelled as he flung out his arm towards Irukuku and several other dragons who, for the most part, were happily eating the soft cold treat whose invention would have bankrupted lesser nations in Halkeginia.

"Yep."

"… Max… Good job!"

o0o

Over the next few years the Emperor Maximum united the entire continent under the banner of this delicious treat making the even the most powerful lords and kings surrender themselves to its savory goodness. Religious disputes and past feuds were forgiven and forgotten as the people of Halkeginia united in their mutual love for ice cream. Incidentally King Joseph finally regained the emotions he had been searching for when he had a sample taste of the creamy goodness. It was bliss. War, crime and violence of any kind came to an end as people realized how valuable life was. Without life you could not eat ice cream. Borders and nations dissolved and Halkeginia came under the rule of Maximum. After all, the differences between humans were but mere trifles in the face of their united worship of the heavenly cold treat.

In the end, the only thing that mattered was ice cream. And it was de-fucking-licious.

***Good End?***


End file.
